Healing is active, intentional. It is not passive or automatic.

But the part most people miss is this: it can only happen in the context of others. That is how our nervous systems evolved.

Talking with someone you trust physiologically lowers your heart rate and cortisol faster than any self-talk. That’s not to say self-regulation isn’t necessary. But because our wounds stem from disruptions in attachment, healing requires new consistent experiences of being safe, seen and accepted.

Relational repair cannot happen in isolation. Identity is built in relation to others as we become more than what happened to us in the new context of new others.

So, whilst healing feels safe alone, it happens most fully with others.

Without intention, without others, time can actually deepen your wounds. As you ruminate and replay painful memories, without active strategies, your post-trauma experience hardens into resentment.

Time does not heal.