Perfectionism is rooted in sensitivity.

When you feel everything deeply and you’re not self-regulated, a certain tone of voice, type of body language, or shift in someone’s mood can feel like a threat.

Perfectionism then becomes your shield.

If you do everything right, anticipate every need, no-one will be upset. You can avoid the pain of their disappointment.

Perfectionism is then more about safety than ambition. The discipline it portrays is an illusion, masking shame, rejection and a feeling of not being good enough.

But it makes for a terrible shield. Whilst it keeps out judgment, it keeps out intimacy, creativity, and growth along with it.

True safety comes from trusting you can survive being imperfect. And that people will still choose you, flaws and all.

So the only question to ask yourself is: does your perfectionism feel more like a shield than a standard?